Characteristics of an Abusive Man

There are tens of thousands of abusive men in the world. These men may take their anger and frustration out on their family and friends, making them among the most dangerous types of people you can know. However, there are several different types of abusive men out there, and knowing the signs of abusive men can help you avoid them or cope with the realities of abuse.

One of the most frightening types of abusive men is the one who, from the outside, looks like the perfect father and husband. This man has the perfect job, makes good money, and has a beautiful wife and beautiful children. However, at home, these abusive men change. Verbal assault is the most common type of abuse in these households. Everything must be perfect for these types of abusive men, and nothing else is accepted. More often than not, this type of abuse is generational, with all of the men in the family are abusive. While verbal abuse is the most common staple in this type of household, physical abuse and sexual abuse is not uncommon.

The next category of abusive men is the openly aggressive male. These men are the drug addicts, the dealers, the alcoholics, and are very possessive of all of their property. They are openly aggressive, using everyone as their tools. Physical violence is the trademark of these abusive men. Friends of the victims of these abusive men will often see quickly that the man means trouble. Unfortunately, many of the people who get involved with these abusive men either do not wish to acknowledge the threat of abuse, or believe that their love is sufficient to overcome the abuse. The vast majority of domestic violence cases result from encounters with these abusive men.

The next category of abusive men is a blend of the private abuser and the aggressive man. These men are not above trying to control their family, and show signs of this to people outside of their homes. However, they typically will not raise a hand to their loved ones in public. Emotional and verbal abuse are the primary tools of these men, though physical abuse is a close third.

If you have a family of abusive men, it is a case of generational abuse. The cycle of generational abuse is very difficult to break, as it involves trying to convince the man that they need to change their ways. Unfortunately, as they are raised with that behavior pattern, it is extremely difficult to alter. However, there are enough abusive men who have changed into wholesome husbands and fathers.

If you are being harmed by abusive men, seek help. There are many resources available to you, including support groups, hot lines, reading materials and counseling. Please call 911 in an emergency or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Dr. Tamika Anderson is an author, speaker, and Founder of Speak Up, Speak Out Enterprises. Dr. Tamika is a survivor of 20 years of Domestic Violence and Abuse. Inspired by her own Domestic Violence experience, Dr. Tamika’s work aims to empower women and survivors of domestic violence through speaking, coaching, and mentoring. Dr. Tamika’s dedication to helping women inspired her to write the #1 International Best-Selling book, Speak Up & Get Out: A Guide to Survive & Thrive from the Devastation of Domestic Violence. To learn more please visit: www.TamikaAnderson.com/Media