If you have an abusive boyfriend, you need to end the relationship. An abusive boyfriend will become an abusive spouse. If they are willing to show the signs of being an abuser early in a relationship, the odds are against you. While there are some men who have totally changed their personalities to stop abusive behavior, the vast majority of them do not. As well, having an abusive boyfriend will damage your self esteem, and leave emotional scars that will take many years to ease.
If you are uncertain of whether or not you have an abusive boyfriend, there are several characteristics or red flags that you can look for. Below, you will find a list and the explanation of why these characteristics are signs of an abusive boyfriend.
- Does your boyfriend try to control you?
An abusive boyfriend will jealously guard what is theirs. Often, they are afraid of being left, so will do everything in their power to prevent their partner from breaking off the relationship. Your social circle may be interrupted, you may be accused of cheating, and you may be told that you cannot be friends with certain people. This form of control is a very large red flag that should not be ignored.
- Does he get angry easily?
A short temper can be very dangerous in a relationship. The shorter the temper, the more likely that an abusive boyfriend will resort to physical abuse.
- Does he throw things, hit walls, or hit you?
An abusive boyfriend who takes out his frustrations on objects, animals, or people, is someone to be avoided. Sure, you may love him, but domestic violence can lead to death or hospitalization.
- Is he quick to degrade you?
Verbal abuse is nothing to ignore. An abusive boyfriend will use every means possible to control you and intimidate or dominate you. While verbal abuse does not leave physical wounds, it can leave emotional ones that take years to heal.
If you are in a situation where you have an abusive boyfriend, seek help. There are hot lines, support groups, and reading materials dedicated to the subject. You can also rely on your friends to assist you. But, above all, get out of the relationship. It may not be easy at first, but an abusive boyfriend will not be able to provide what you need for a happy, healthy lifestyle in the future. Please call 911 in an emergency or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Dr. Tamika Anderson is an author, speaker, and Founder of Speak Up, Speak Out Enterprises. Dr. Tamika is a survivor of 20 years of Domestic Violence and Abuse. Inspired by her own Domestic Violence experience, Dr. Tamika’s work aims to empower women and survivors of domestic violence through speaking, coaching, and mentoring. Dr. Tamika’s dedication to helping women inspired her to write the #1 International Best-Selling book, Speak Up & Get Out: A Guide to Survive & Thrive from the Devastation of Domestic Violence. To learn more please visit: www.TamikaAnderson.com/Media