Dr. Tamika Works

I took some time out to just kick back and relax over the weekend.  I hope you did the same or at the very least did something that made you feel good.  One of the things I did was watching Oprah’s Life Class.  Talk about powerful!  Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Van Zant addressed a question I have been asking for YEARS now.  The title of the series was, “Why Women Do Terrible Things to Each Other?”  These two fabulous women really got to the core of the issues by discussing weapons women use against one another, reasons why women gossip, why women betray each other, and why women hurt each other.  This show answered some questions for me.

I have always wondered why some women have a problem with complimenting other women on their hair, make-up, promotion, clothing, being a nice a person inside and out, or just their overall success (the list goes on and on).  Why is it that some women when they do get a compliment they can’t just accept the compliment?  These beautiful and talented women find a reason to downplay the compliment.

I consider myself to be a very friendly person.  My childhood friend Lisa and I would always laugh because she would tease me about how there was not a person on earth that I would not speak to.  She would laugh so hard and say, “Girl, you speak to EVERYBODY!”  I couldn’t and I still can’t help myself today.  Which is why, my biggest pet peeve is when people don’t have enough courtesy to at least speak back.  I was in the mall a few weeks ago with my daughter (school shopping) and I just casually smiled and spoke to a woman pushing a baby stroller and let me tell you….that was a BIG mistake.  This woman (good and grown woman) sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes then grunted a half “Hi”.  I thought this woman’s eyes were going to roll down the hallway, around the corner, and into another store.  I was so surprised.  But I also recognized that her reaction was not about me.

I then explained to my daughter that as women we have to uplift, support, cheer each other on, encourage, guide, lead, trust, and love each other.  Why, because we are all sisters and in some way we have all been hurt whether physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  As women we have to help one another heal through positive support.  As some of you have heard me say before, I am an Information Junkie and I love to share what I know and learn.  I will leave with you one more experience that I recently had a few weeks ago.  I was having a conversation with a woman and she expressed that she wanted to change careers.  Long story short, she explained how she had been interviewing in the field she wanted to go into but no one would hire her.  I told her that I would contact some people and keep an eye out for her.  She gasped and asked me, “Why would you do that, I’m your competition right?”  I explained to her that I BELIEVE, what God has for me, No man can take it away or keep it from me.  This is why I have absolutely no problem with giving up the goods about something that will help someone else to succeed in their endeavors.  Oprah said in this episode, “This is the truth about self hatred; truly successful, powerful people want other people to be empowered.  Truly successful people want you to be empowered because they want you to feel the light they are feeling”.

I want you to join me in breaking the cycle of terrible things women do to each other.

We have to start by loving ourselves first and then allowing that light of love from within to shine on others.  If we don’t love ourselves first, we will continue to hurt each other.

Post your personal experience(s), share how you will join in, or leave an empowering comment for all of us to feel good about.

To Your Brilliant Success!

 

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